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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25250488">If I Only Had The Nerve</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodapeach/pseuds/wjmoon'>wjmoon (sodapeach)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>X1 (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Requited Love, Sharing a Bed, Wizard of Oz References, falling asleep together, some spice happens i’m sorry, they wouldn’t listen to me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:22:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25250488</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodapeach/pseuds/wjmoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seungyoun hates staying alone in his empty apartment, and when Wooseok stops by to bring something for his old roommate, a storm comes, and they decide to wait it out by watching a movie.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Different Pools Fic Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If I Only Had The Nerve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt #125: Seungyoun sharing a bed with B to watch a movie, and they fall asleep together.</p><p>Listen, I know this was supposed to be fluff only, but they would not listen to me. 😭 I toned it down as much as I could, but seven versions later here we are~</p><p>Thank you to the prompter for submitting this, I feel like I was summoned from my grave</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Seungyoun didn’t like to be alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the kind of person who was very good at surrounding himself with people he could grow with, and Seungwoo, his roommate and best friend, was at the top of the list, but Seungwoo was getting married and moving out so he could live with his boyfriend– no, his fiance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun, a known hopeless romantic, was the first person he told other than his immediate family along with the circle of friends closest to him and his fiance who were like his life long brothers. It was a privilege to be included, but having to hold in his tears in front of all those people was like a knife to the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He takes care of me, Younie,” he had said one night while the two of them had a heart to heart over a couple of beers and a box of cheap pizza. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungwoo was always so strong in the worst way, never letting anyone take care of him, and now Seungyoun had to be strong and let him go so he could be happy and live his own life because he finally found what he needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You act like you’re breaking up,” Hangyul said days later after the news broke out. They met up for drinks while Seungyoun’s apartment was too empty to stay in for too long. Seungwoo wasn’t there because he was out with his family celebrating like he was supposed to, but that still didn’t make the quiet any easier to cope with. “Don’t tell me you had feelings for him…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! God, no,” Seungyoun said, horrified. “He’s my best friend, like a big noodly older brother. Besides I’ve always…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s voice trailed off as the admission lingered in his throat. There were things he shouldn’t say, and just because he was emotional didn’t mean he should go off and start throwing them around without a purpose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Besides I’ve always had a different idea of who I want to take care of,” he shrugged. “Or take care of me, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s someone?” Hangyul raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, of course not,” he laughed. “Who?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can think of someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your first guess was Seungwoo so don’t strain yourself,” Seungyoun smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, but to be fair, you did cry at his engagement party,” Hangyul pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cry at everyone’s engagement parties,” he grumbled. “It’s a beautiful thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet you’d cry at your own,” he teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Weren’t you going to try guessing or something,” Seungyoun shifted uncomfortably. He couldn’t have an engagement party if he never had someone who wanted to marry him, but that wasn’t a worry he wanted to address for a while. Even just having it mentioned left a hollow ache in his chest worse than the loneliness an empty apartment had given him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hangyul hummed. “Really, knowing you, only one name comes to mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The person I’m thinking of is short,” he said. Seungyoun’s stomach flipped, but he didn’t want to give Hangyul the satisfaction of being right so he clenched his jaw and pretended like he didn’t have a clue as to who he was talking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re short,” he said, ignoring him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And has terrible vision.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t see shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And was born a couple months after you,” Hangyul said like a final </span>
  <em>
    <span>checkmate.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough guessing,” Seungyoun stood up. “Drinks are on me, but I think I’m gonna head back and get some sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to deny your feelings to me, Youn!” Hangyul called after him. “It’s better to talk them out!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Seungyoun wasn’t ready to talk about </span>
  <em>
    <span>those </span>
  </em>
  <span>feelings. He would rather focus on how sad he was that his roommate was leaving him rather than </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was so sad about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungwoo was getting his happy ending. So what if Seungyoun never got his? It’s not like the opportunity to do anything about it was going to drop right into his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a couple of weeks, he kind of got used to being by himself more than usual. He at least did a decent job of convincing himself that he was adjusting to the new normal, but then the happy couple decided to go ahead and buy a house. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A house. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Who in this economy could afford to drop a down payment on a home? He guessed if their parents helped, they both made enough money for it, but then all of Seungwoo’s spare time went into preparing to move into a </span>
  <em>
    <span>house</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his fiance in time to get settled in before the wedding. If they were going to go this far, they should have just gone ahead and moved in together years ago to spare Seungyoun the stress of too many changes and wake up calls at once, in his opinion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So not only was Seungyoun’s apartment empty, it was filled with the heaviness of watching his friend leap into adulthood and leave him behind in a mid-twenties limbo. It was getting to his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The knock on the door came as a welcome surprise because he thought that someone had actually come to visit him, but when he opened the door, it was just Wooseok with a cardboard box in his arms that hid the top half of his body. Well, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>Wooseok. Seeing him there made his heart jump, but the sight of the box suggested that he not only wasn’t there for him, but he wouldn’t be staying long enough to leave much of an impression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Special delivery,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me get that,” Seungyoun offered, but Wooseok pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s okay, I just need to set it down on something sturdy,” he said. “Can I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, what’s in the box,” he asked as he stepped aside to make way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Snoo’s mom called my mom to tell her the big news, and my mom said that it’s bad luck to move into a new house without real plates,” he said as he set the box down with a ceramic rattle. “Real plates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok stood up and stretched his back. “Sorry to drop by so suddenly, but if I forgot to bring them over, she’d kick my ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s no problem,” he said. “It’s kind of late though. Did someone drive you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, I walked here,” Wooseok shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With these?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you know, well,” he shrugged again. “Anyways, I’ll be seeing you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you leaving already?” Seungyoun stepped forward to stop him. It had been so long since another person was in his apartment, he was almost desperate to fill the space with someone who didn’t smell like him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s late,” he laughed. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” he waved him off. “I’m so good right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok raised his brow and looked around. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was just going to offer you something to drink if you wanted it since you had to carry these plates so far, but if you need to go already, I understand,” he saif as flippantly as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright,” Wooseok said. “Listen if you want someone to stay…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Noooo,” Seungyoun laughed. “I’m so good at being alone! I love it! Look at all this space!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok blinked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, really,” he said. “It was just nice to see another person, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thunder cracked, startling them both. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, was it supposed to rain,” Wooseok asked, ducking like the storm was going to come through the roof. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so,” he said. He pulled up the weather app on his phone and frowned. “It looks like it’s going to storm for the next couple of hours and then clear up again around midnight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great,” Wooseok said, jumping at the second bolt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t walk home in this,” he said. “Let me call you a cab.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t call a cab for like four blocks,” he said. “That’s so expensive for no reason. I’ll just walk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only for a couple of hours,” Seungyoun shrugged. “You could hang out here if you want. I think that if your mom would kick your ass for not bringing plates over, my mom would kick mine for letting you walk home in the middle of a storm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The third boom sent a shiver down his spine. Wooseok jumped towards him with his arms out, but he stopped himself before he grabbed him, startled. “Maybe you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You can hold onto me if you want to. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun shook himself. He most certainly did not need to concern himself with protecting Wooseok from nasty weather. He was a perfectly capable and independent guy, not a housecat. Not someone who needed to be taken care of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Wooseok half shouted, brushing himself off. “What should we do until the weather clears up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was about to watch a movie,” he said. “But we can do whatever. It’s fine with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A movie’s good! I like movies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’ll be what, like, two, three hours? Should be a good way to kill time,” Wooseok said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s a good point,” he agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun and Wooseok moved towards the sofa where most people watched movies except there was one problem. Every piece of shared furniture in his apartment was covered in boxes marked in a very specific way that if Seungyoun were to move them, he would have had to face the wrath of Seungwoo’s mom for messing up her system. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh,” Seungyoun said, realizing there was nowhere for them to sit. “We seem to have a problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Wooseok looked around. “Oh! I can sit on the floor, it’s no big deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” he said before he could stop himself. He would not, under any circumstance, make </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kim Wooseok</span>
  </em>
  <span> sit on the floor. To him  Wooseok was the kind of person that he would drop his jacket over a mud puddle for to keep him from stepping in it. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>could not</span>
  </em>
  <span> let him sit on his filthy ass floor. “I mean, I would be a terrible host if I made you do that. Just let me think first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun wracked his brain, but other than the floor, the only other option was standing if Wooseok wanted to stand, but that was probably not something he wanted to have to do for several hours. Another option was Wooseok using him as his own personal chair which would have thrilled him personally, but he didn’t think Wooseok would go for it. In fact, he was pretty sure Wooseok would think he was the creepiest guy in the world if he offered </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he only meant it in a way that would keep Wooseok off the floor. Really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where were you going to watch a movie if your furniture is all… occupied,” Wooseok asked, knocking him out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun laughed nervously. “I’ve just been hanging out in my room, so, there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he shrugged. “That would be fine with me. Wait, oh god, that’s your personal space, I’m so sorry. You know what, we don’t have to watch anything, I can just call a cab. It’s no big deal, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok was flustered, and all Seungyoun could do was stand there in shock because, for one, Wooseok had mentioned going into his room like it was a good idea, and two, Wooseok, who had always been very good at pretending to be steely, was </span>
  <em>
    <span>flustered. </span>
  </em>
  <span>(Seungyoun knew that Wooseok was shy and introverted and a little strange, but for some reason Wooseok always thought he had to act like he was unshakable, and there he was, shaken, but for having the only decent idea between them).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, if you don’t mind…” Seungyoun said, twisting his socked foot into the carpet. “I promise it’s not that scary in there, unless you have a personal vendetta against unsorted laundry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok laughed brightly, relaxing. “No, there’s a reason I live in track pants. But I don’t want to impose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would love it if you imposed on me,” Seungyoun said with a deep bow, and he was grateful that his body had acted dramatically on its own because saying something so cheesy out loud made his whole face burn. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stupid. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But Wooseok just giggled and visibly rolled his eyes as soon as Seungyoun glanced up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever think before you speak,” he teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not,” Seungyoun said with a confident smile that hid how much he wanted to run out in the storm and never come back, but Wooseok, on the other hand, looked up at him with a face full of amusement. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good. At least if he thinks I’m a clown, he can’t hate me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After an awkward pause where they just stared at each other (Seungyoun was busy cringing, and Wooseok was waiting patiently for him to stop dissociating long enough to do something), Wooseok coughed to get his attention. “So… lead the way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Right! Right this way,” he said as he led him down the hall. Seungyoun’s room was on the left, and Seungwoo’s was on the right directly across from it. Without him there, the apartment felt weighted and uneven, but now that Wooseok was there, Seungwoo’s side felt like the forbidden wing of the Beast’s castle. So did that make Seungyoun Belle or was it Wooseok? He decided that he didn’t like that metaphor anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the door and immediately rushed to his unmade bed with a quick apology. He pushed off his things he had left on the side he didn’t sleep on down to the floor and pulled the bedspread over to kind of make it look presentable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s clean, I promise,” he muttered. “Just changed my sheets yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Wooseok laughed. “Feels like home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s heart jumped. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Home? Wooseokie feels like home in my home? My room, his room? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He shoved his hand into his pocket to secretly pinch himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Calm down, goofy. He’s being polite.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not much, but…” he gestured towards the neatened mattress. “Make yourself comfortable! I’ll go set up the movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” he said quietly, almost nervously if Seungyoun wasn’t mistaken. Wooseok looked around as he strolled over, still getting used to the space. “Wow, you have a lot of neat stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a collector,” Seungyoun said proudly. He couldn’t wait to tell Seungwoo that his treasures weren’t junk! Wooseok had validated him, and Wooseok’s opinion was the most important opinion in the whole world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of what,” he asked, eyeing the different odds and ends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything I like,” he said. “I know it’s kind of… random… but I like to keep a piece of wherever I go, and I don’t really have a theme to stick to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Wooseok said, cheerful like he got it. “Where did you get this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun followed Wooseok’s finger to a solid matte black mouse figurine that was probably meant to look like a streamlined Mickey Mouse. “Germany, I think. I’m pretty sure it was Germany.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about this,” he said, pointing at the tiny golden man with his arms twisted up above his head. “Argentina, maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea do you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” he laughed. “But I remember I was really happy when I got it. I don’t really remember where or when, but when I see it, I get to remember how I felt in that moment so it’s good enough for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like that,” Wooseok decided. “I would rather remember being happy than remembering a date or a location.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to tell Seungwoo,” Seungyoun laughed. “He thinks I’m a hoarder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might be a hoarder,” Wooseok teased. “But it looks cool, and it suits you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he said, shy and looking down at his feet. “I’m glad you think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he looked up, he swore that the person staring back at him with large wide eyes had a slight flush to his cheeks, but Wooseok was too quick to get a good look at. The next thing he knew, he had his back to him, crawling onto Seungyoun’s bed that had been lifted up too high off the ground for more storage for all of his treasures, looking extra tiny. Seungyoun smiled to himself and bit his lip as he looked away to spare him his dignity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you wanna watch?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok hummed. “What were you going to? Nothing scary, please. The storm is doing enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right on cue, thunder cracked hard enough to make the lights flicker. He worried that it was a dark sign that their movie night might not go according to plan, but he had to at least try anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I hadn’t picked one yet, but I’m up for suggestions,” Seungyoun said. It was only half a lie. He did have a movie picked out, but he would rather have watched Wooseok’s suggestion. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and he didn’t want to waste it by boring him to death with something he wasn’t interested in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” he said, thinking. “The first movie that came to mind might be too cheesy...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” None of Wooseok’s suggestions could have possibly been the wrong answer, but he at least wanted to know what he was working with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Wizard of Oz,” he mumbled like he was saying something to be ashamed of. “This kind of weather puts me in a mood…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love that movie,” Seungyoun said kindly, earning a proud smile from the other man that lifted the apples of his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid,” he said. “The Cowardly Lion is my favorite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? I love the Tin Man!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so cute and excited that Seungyoun decided that The Wizard of Oz was the only movie in the whole world. He would have it permanently projected on his wall on a loop like a museum display if it meant that Wooseok got to watch it every time he was over. If he came back, of course. Seungyoun still ran the risk of him bolting as soon as it stopped raining and then permanently distancing himself for having to spend the evening in his bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should watch it then,” he said. “If you want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok sat up in the bed, making himself comfortable. “Sounds good to me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun pulled the movie up on his laptop and then hooked it up to the TV mounted across from his bed for them to watch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lights on or off,” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Off,” Wooseok said. “Unless that’s weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! I just didn’t want to leave you in the dark without asking first,” he said. “Off is good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flipped the switch and then felt his way in the low light to his computer chair and had a seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing,” Wooseok asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he said, surprised. “Do you need something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I need you to come sit with me,” he laughed, patting the bedspread.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine here, really,” Seungyoun insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” he said. “This is your room, you should be comfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is comfortable,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you say that in an hour,” Wooseok pointed out. “Just come sit with me so I don’t feel weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun was about to object, but the please that followed almost brought him to his knees. He was so easy that all Wooseok ever had to do was ask him for something, and he would say yes without hesitation. If Wooseok ever found that out though, he was in trouble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood up awkwardly and walked over to his own bed like his room was littered with mines. Wooseok watched him curiously in the dark like he meant to say something, and Seungyoun wished he wouldn’t. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t make me talk, I’ll make a stupid joke, and you’ll think I’m weird.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But then Wooseok looked away towards the screen so he could climb up with him, and Seungyoun had a brief second to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not to be the weirdo he was worried he was going to come off as, but any time he had pictured climbing into bed with Wooseok before didn’t exactly play out like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that he pictured that… often.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun swallowed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God, he’s pretty.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seungyoun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” He said intelligently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You forgot to start the movie,” Wooseok said quietly, nodding towards the idle menu.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Oops!” Seungyoun hopped off the bed faster than he had crawled in and slapped the space bar with a little too much gusto. Wooseok giggled softly to himself, but otherwise pretended that it wasn’t strange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the opening theme song playing and the sepia toned credits floating on the screen, Seungyoun hurried back without the same level of tension, but he made sure to sit as far from him as possible so that he wouldn’t make Wooseok uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched the first few scenes of the movie in silence. Seungyoun was dying to catch a glimpse of Wooseok to see if he was smiling, but he was too afraid to turn his head to look at him, but then after Dorothy landed in Oz, he heard him humming along to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Follow The Yellow Brick Road </span>
  </em>
  <span>and realized he either had to learn how to still his own heart or he was in danger of squeezing Wooseok’s cheekies until they never spoke to each other again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat back against the wall satisfied that Wooseok was happy and enjoyed the movie. After a while when Dorothy was skipping around with the Scarecrow, he felt his bed shake slightly. He looked over, and Wooseok was curled up in a ball shivering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you cold?” Seungyoun asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Wooseok lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, you’re freezing,” he cried out. “I’m so sorry, I forgot my air conditioning is broken! I should have grabbed a blanket, I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Wooseok could insist that he was fine, Seungyoun was up and off to Seungwoo’s room because he was cold natured too. Hopefully he hadn’t packed them all up yet, and to his luck, there was a stack of linens in an untaped box. He was sure Seungwoo wouldn’t mind if he borrowed a blanket for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed the softest one in the pile and hurried back into his room so he wouldn’t miss anything (Wooseok), and he tossed the folded blanket onto Wooseok’s lap before climbing back in next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok unfolded it and spread it out, scooting more towards the middle and lifting it up for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you don’t have to,” Seungyoun said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to get cold,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not c–,” he said before shutting his stupid mouth. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re going to turn down an opportunity to share a blanket with Wooseok? And he’s offering?</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scooted over a little too but just barely, and Wooseok huffed, annoyed. He moved past the center of the bed towards Seungyoun, and the next thing he knew, the whole right side of his body was pressed against Wooseok’s left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There,” Wooseok said, draping it over their legs. He rested back against the wall, and to make sure he was comfortable, Seungyoun reached over him and grabbed a pillow to put behind his back. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok reached over and grabbed the other one for Seungyoun who was so busy fussing over Wooseok, he forgot to think about his own comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was quiet again as they watched Dorothy stumble upon her new friends. She found the Tin Man next, Wooseok’s favorite character, and he felt him move slightly next to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s happy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The rain still beat down on the building above, but the thunder had stopped a while ago. Unfortunately, the sound of a beloved movie mixed with the constant roar of rain made Seungyoun’s eyes heavy, and even though his heart pounded in his chest from Wooseok being so close to him and with forcing himself to keep his eyes open to see Wooseok out, the last thing he remembered was the back of his head falling back slowly against the wall behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun dreamed about a horrible tornado that whisked him off to a foreign land. Seungwoo was the Scarecrow, Hangyul was the Tin Man, and Yohan was the Cowardly Lion, but no matter how much he searched for Wooseok, he couldn’t find him. Wooseok was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s eyes flew open, and his heart thundered against his chest in fear. Wooseok was gone? Wooseok was hurt? No, Wooseok went home… of course. Wooseok went home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except, it would have been hard for Wooseok to be anywhere else if the person in his arms was who he thought it was. They were at the end of the movie in the witch’s castle, and Seungyoun had fallen asleep some time before, but what surprised him was that Wooseok had at some point fallen asleep and rolled over into his grasp, and Seungyoun somehow managed to hold him in place in his sleep so that he didn’t slump over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved his head to get a better look at him, but all that did was cause him to brush his nose into his hair. He smelled even better than he looked. It was intoxicating, and it was unfair. Why couldn’t Wooseok have a stinky unclean head? Why did he have to smell like peonies? Why did Seungyoun have to breathe him in like he was a bouquet of flowers?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to get a grip. He knew that if Wooseok realized what had happened, he would have been humiliated, but he couldn’t let him </span>
  <em>
    <span>stay </span>
  </em>
  <span>like that. He knew he would have hated it more than anything so it was only right that Seungyoun save him from the horror of snuggling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wooseok,” he said as quietly as he could, his own voice taking on a high airy tone. “Wooseokie, wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok sighed deeply against his chest, and Seungyoun had to squeeze his eyes shut to keep from reacting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wooseok, you fell asleep,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He mumbled softly, but there was no waking him up without startling him so Seungyoun decided to let him sleep until the end of the movie. He was probably exhausted, and there was no point in making him wake up to go before it finished anyway. With that, he pulled the blanket up over Wooseok’s shoulders to keep him warm and returned to the movie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, as someone who was now on dedicated Wooseok guard duty, he was sure he could stay awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun was walking through fields of poppies alone. His friends had all passed out, and Glenda the Good Witch hadn’t yet dusted the land with snow. He was alone, and he couldn’t find Wooseok. No matter how much he called for him, Wooseok never came, and no matter how much he shouted, his friends never woke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seungyounie,” a soft voice said, tickling his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun hummed and felt the soft brush of fingertips caress his jaw. If he wasn’t dreaming, he was sure Wooseok didn’t know he was awake because in what world would Wooseok have openly caressed him? “Can you hear me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun didn’t answer. He knew he should have, but he was worried that if he made a sound, this moment would shatter, and he wasn’t ready to give it up yet. He just hoped that Wooseok didn’t check to see how fast his heart was racing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you having a bad dream,” he asked quietly, his fingers still carefully touching his neck like he was idly plucking a harp.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He knows I’m awake.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded his head as if he was responding in his sleep. That was a thing people did, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you dreaming about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun swallowed hard enough to audibly gulp, but Wooseok didn’t bust him for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you have a bad dream, you should tell someone so that when you fall back asleep, you won’t dream about it again,” Wooseok said so close to his neck that his breath tickled the skin. Close enough to leave a kiss behind if he wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could have pulled away when he woke up, but he held onto Seungyoun like he was draped over him, and Seungyoun still kept him secure in his arms. It was strange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought for a moment, knowing that he should keep up this facade until Wooseok got up and left, but what if Wooseok was right? What if he dreamed he was missing again? How many times could he handle that dream before he broke his own heart?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Poppies,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Seungyoun mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok exhaled slowly, still gently petting him like Seungyoun was something small and delicate. He was watching him, he could feel his gaze, and it made him want to open his eyes to confirm for himself, but it was better if Wooseok thought he had fallen back asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok rested his head back on his shoulder and sighed deeply. “It stopped storming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s stomach sank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t go home yet,” he said with regret for letting himself slip in more ways than one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun never felt himself slump over, and he supposed neither did Wooseok. It was morning, and the movie on the screen had been replaced with a slide show of his music collection album artwork. The rain still trickled down outside, almost tricking him into drifting off again until he noticed that Wooseok was fast asleep on his chest like he was a very large and rigid body pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached up lazily and ran his fingers up and down Wooseok’s back. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but it felt right. It felt like something he was supposed to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok stirred in his sleep, and Seungyoun smiled to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So this is what it feels like.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But then the magic was ruined when Wooseok gasped in realization, horrified. Half asleep, he shot up in the air, leaving a cold void against Seungyoun’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Wooseok said, his hands up at his own cheeks in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Seungyoun half mumbled, still not awake yet. “We both fell asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I–.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what,” he rubbed his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… feel like I took advantage of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Seungyoun blinked. “How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok looked down, his cheeks a dark and treacherous shade. “I should have left when I woke up, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was still raining,” he said, rolling over to his side, and like a fool, he reached out for him. “Come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok’s hand jerked away, and that’s when Seungyoun realized, in horror, what he had done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” he said, sitting up. “I’m so sorry, I’m still kind of out of it. What was I thinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I just,” Wooseok started, but then his voice trailed off, and Seungyoun felt compelled to pry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just don’t like to be touched?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said sadly. “Forget it, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok pushed himself up and moved to leave, but Seungyoun, the only thing between him and the floor, stopped him. He pressed his hand against his chest to keep Wooseok from leaping forward and tripping over him, and if he wasn’t mistaken, he could feel a heart racing beneath his fingertips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wooseokie, what’s wrong,” he asked with an understanding frown. He pulled his own hand away to prop himself up better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have stayed,” Wooseok said, defeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Seungyoun craned his neck to see him. “We’re friends, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that kind of friends…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to be,” he said. “It didn’t mean anything, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok glanced at him like he was hurt, and Seungyoun felt a sickness in the pit of his stomach. He had never made Wooseok make a face like that before that he was aware of, and he would have killed anyone else who tried it if Wooseok asked him to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re right,” he half laughed. “It didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself forward, and Seungyoun shifted to stop him. “Wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, but I don’t like this,” Seungyoun frowned. “Wooseok, are you mad at me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, of course not,” he said as he sat back onto the bed looking smaller than usual. “I’m mad at myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why,” he asked. He wanted to reach out and touch him. Was he allowed to do that? He decided since there was a fifty fifty chance that he was allowed to, he reached out to put a hand on his cheek. Wooseok flinched again, and he pulled away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right, he doesn’t want to be touched. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it didn’t mean anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand,” Seungyoun shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m mad at myself,” he sighed deeply. “Because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>it didn’t mean anything, but I still stayed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun thought for a moment, absorbing his words. Wooseok must have known how he felt about him this whole time and worried that Seungyoun had gotten the wrong idea, but Seungyoun’s feelings were his own, and he had never intended to project them on to Wooseok. Wooseok needed to know that this was an accident between two friends, and only that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re worried about me,” Seungyoun said, unable to look at him. “I’m a big boy. I can live with someone not having feelings for me. I didn’t get my hopes up, I promise. I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt or sick in the storm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok didn’t say anything. Seungyoun looked up, curious, and he was staring at him completely frozen. His eyes were wide and wild, and his bottom lip was tucked too far over his top. He looked absolutely traumatized. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oops.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what, pretend I didn’t say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t,” Wooseok started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t your hopes I thought I was getting up,” he said, stunned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I stayed because,” he started again, each time more pained than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun leaned in towards him instinctively, eager to know what he was talking about, and Wooseok’s eyes flickered suddenly to his mouth. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, that was an accident.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it, Seok,” he almost whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok looked down again, this time transfixed on his lips, and Seungyoun’s chest tightened. He glanced up at him and then back down before leaning forward too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun held his breath, but then Wooseok stopped and pushed himself away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, I’m acting like an idiot,” Wooseok cursed himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong? Talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was like someone had punched all of the air out of his lungs, and all he wanted to do was kiss Wooseok, but Wooseok didn’t want to kiss </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was tired and confused, and maybe if they slept a little longer…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting carried away,” Wooseok said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, it’s fine,” he said softly. “Whatever happened or happens, I know it doesn’t mean anything so you don’t have anything to feel guilty for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok shook his head and turned away. Seungyoun moved towards him so that their knees touched together, and he put his hands on his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would learn how to walk on water for you,” Seungyoun continued. “You know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might as well already walk on water,” Wooseok half laughed. “You can do anything else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t make you feel better,” he pouted. “What good is anything else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got carried away, it’s not your fault,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is my fault,” and when Wooseok looked confused, Seungyoun continued to explain. “I woke up, but I didn’t move you even though I thought you would have been uncomfortable with the situation. I should have moved you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my fault because when </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>woke up, I should have moved myself instead of let myself–.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let yourself what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok sighed heavily. “I can’t say it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? There’s no one here but me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say it because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wooseok said, frustrated. “Seungwoo knows, Hangyul knows, Yohan knows, hell, even Seungwoo’s fiance knows…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knows… what,” Seungyoun asked. He knew that what he hoped Wooseok was going to say was impossible, but he needed to believe that there was a chance it wasn’t. He silently begged for Wooseok to say it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seungyounie, it doesn’t mean anything, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if it did,” he asked, deciding to gamble one more time even though his odds so far hadn’t been so great.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would depend on the meaning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if it meant that we were the kind of friends who could sleep together without anyone getting upset?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want that,” Wooseok said bluntly, startling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think with how we are, I could be any kind of friends with you and still let myself do things like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun paused for a moment. The words stung more than he could have imagined, and it was in his nature to run when things became too much to handle, but he stood his ground because of who was saying them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you dislike me that much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Wooseok blinked. “No! That’s not it at all!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you,” he said, and Seungyoun almost fell over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pissed at myself because I slept over and on top of you because it was like winning the lottery when I knew all I was going to do was hurt my own feelings, and of course you’re an angel so you would never get mad at me for it, but oh god, I’m so annoying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him back to his chest. “No, no, no, this isn’t right. I didn’t wake you up, this isn’t your fault. I wanted you to sleep with me because I like you. You didn’t do anything wrong. This was me, I was being selfish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I was,” he said into his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you were,” Seungyoun teased, kissing the side of his head like that was something he was allowed to do, but Wooseok didn’t flinch or push him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok grumbled and whined into him as he rocked them both back and forth. He stroked the back of his head, and Wooseok dropped all of his weight against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go back to sleep,” he whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Waking up with you was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I don’t want to lose to someone feeling like they did something wrong,” he said. “Can we try it again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Wooseok said, unsure. “But it doesn’t mean anything… right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath. “Why can’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that something you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun hummed. He moved his head so that his mouth was closer to Wooseok’s ear because he wanted to say it quietly and without looking at his face. “Seungwoo knows, Hangyul knows, Yohan knows, even Seungwoo’s fiance knows…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Knows what,” he turned slightly towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lowered his head carefully, gauging his reaction so he could move if Wooseok jerked away, and hovered near his mouth. “That with you it will always mean something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok reached up and touched his cheek without saying anything like he couldn’t speak. Both of them were frozen in that moment, unsure of what to say next, but the silence only made Seungyoun that much more impatient.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wooseokie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” They were millimeters away, and every inch of his body wanted to push him forward, but he did his best to control himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would it mean if I kissed you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Excellent self control, I think.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok tilted his dead down, slightly away from him, and exhaled deeply, a weighted breath that Seungyoun felt in his own chest. If he rejected him, if he had misunderstood, it would be okay. He could handle it as long as Wooseok was happy, but he needed to make sure that if Wooseok didn’t have feelings for him after all that, he didn’t feel burdened by it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun had a lot of questions starting with </span>
  <em>
    <span>what, why, when, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>how. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This was a situation he had never once fathomed. It was so inconceivable that he had never even once imagined the scenario in all of his wildest dreams so needless to say, he was terribly unprepared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please say something,” Wooseok said quietly. His body was tense, waiting to have his heart shattered, but that could have never happened with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you say something?” He looked at him, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean, can I,” Seungyoun said, turning towards his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to,” Wooseok's voice shook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok nodded, and then before either one of them registered what was happening, he pressed his lips carefully against Wooseok’s. He was sure that he was seconds away from having a thumb jammed into his eye to get him to back off, but to his surprise, Wooseok pushed himself forward into the kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun’s breath hitched in surprise as if he wasn’t the one who kissed Wooseok first. Maybe it was because he never would have believed that Wooseok wouldn’t have pushed him away in disgust if he ever tried it. He parted his lips slightly and kissed him again, testing to make sure  he wasn’t overreaching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok sighed warmly through his nose and leaned into him before cupping his face in his hands. He felt a sense of urgency to throw himself at Wooseok, but they both moved too slowly like they were afraid of startling the other or breaking the illusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his head slightly, their noses brushing together like two curious bunnies, and Seungyoun smiled to himself slightly. Did he dare deepen the kiss or would he stop there, afraid to overindulge? He was happy enough like this. This was what he wanted. This was–.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok’s hands slid down the sides of his neck to his collar and pulled him closer, nipping slightly at his bottom lip. Seungyoun heard himself groan as Wooseok kissed him hungrily like he had finally woken up and realized </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was allowed to, but of course Wooseok was allowed to. He was perfect, and Seungyoun considered himself privileged to be the one he grabbed onto like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the strength in his body faded as they slowly collapsed together onto the bed. He took Wooseok’s precious cheek in his hand as he tilted his head to kiss him as they lay on their sides together, arms and legs tangled in an unending web.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok tugged at him like he wanted him to move on top of him, but he was too afraid that if he let himself get </span>
  <em>
    <span>that far, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he might want more, and if he asked for more, it would have been an entirely selfish act.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he slid his hand down his body, admiring the shape underneath his clothes, down to Wooseok’s hip. An arm went around the back of his neck, and he heard him whimper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m trying to be good,” he laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without the need for any more encouragement, Seungyoun pushed himself up over him, keeping one knee between Wooseok’s legs for balance. He kissed down his neck, and Wooseok tilted his head back with a sharp inhale to help him find the right angle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trying,” he whispered into the curve of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Wooseok sputtered. “Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much farther do you want me to go,” he asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok responded by pulling him up to his mouth and forcing his lips open with his tongue. He lifted his hips up to push himself against his anchored thigh, and Seungyoun responded by pushing his leg up closer against him so that he wouldn’t have to reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If someone would have told him merely twelve hours before that the person he wanted most would have soon been writhing so much beneath him that he would have wedged his knee between his thighs to give him relief, Seungyoun would have only laughed at how cruel of a joke it was, but there he was, and now he was the one being cruel for holding himself back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I touch you,” he said against his mouth. Wooseok gave an exaggerated nod as a whine escaped his nose. He reached down to him, ignoring the ache of his own neglect. “Baby, you’re shaking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok made a soft, frustrated noise like he was about to explode if Seungyoun didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>do something about it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but Seungyoun needed to stall a bit so he could make up his mind for </span>
  <em>
    <span>how </span>
  </em>
  <span>he could do something about it. If this was his only chance, he couldn’t take it without thinking first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here,” he said softly. “You should be comfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok looked up at him confused, but he propped himself up on his elbows to see what he was up to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun removed Wooseok’s pants for him and then pulled the blanket back over them with a silent apology to Seungwoo for what he was about to do to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There,” he said. “You can’t get cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you,” Wooseok said, arching up to kiss him, eyes glazed and heavy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t I take care of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun swallowed. This was something he could never allow himself to have because just the words sent a jolt up his spine and into his chest even if they didn’t mean what he wanted them to. The person he wanted to take care of him… He shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, just let me take care of you,” Seungyoun said. Wooseok pushed his hand away and frowned. “Let me spoil you, please, it’s what I want to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This doesn’t feel right,” Wooseok turned away, keeping his mouth away from him like a small punishment. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun sat back down on his knees and bit his lip. “What’s wrong? Am I doing too much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I can’t–.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok sighed and closed his eyes. “I can’t… be like this… and not, like, help you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, really,” he insisted. “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t like me, then please don’t do this,” he pleaded. “I hate hookups. I hate one night– morning stands. I don’t want to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun sighed heavily. “That’s not it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed uncomfortably and shook his head. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What.” Wooseok sat up with a scowl, looking even more like an angered cat flicking his tail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess that this can’t get anymore ruined than it already is,” he huffed. “It’s because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to take care of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So let me,” Wooseok gawked, shaking his hands. “I’m offering.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not like that,” he said, looking away. “Like Seungwoo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you and Seungwoo do this?!” He shrieked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Oh god, of course not! I meant like what Seungwoo has… but with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun closed his eyes and braced himself, but he did not expect for Wooseok to laugh so brightly and cutely without an ounce of malice to his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going through roommate withdrawals?” Wooseok teased. “Do you want to get married too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” he said quietly. Wooseok stopped giggling. “Not right now, though… I mean no! Not ever! Absolutely not!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now I’ve done it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok looked at him with a curious expression. “Is it me or are you just feeling a little lonely right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and turned around so that he wouldn’t have to look at him. “Seungwoo moving out to get married made me realize that even though I have someone I want to do that with too one day, I can’t because we aren’t like that. So hearing you say you want to take care of me in not that way is like the universe’s way of laughing at me for being in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun winced. Even if everyone </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they at least never made him say it out loud. They never pushed him to date anyone or even ask Wooseok out because for him this was a life long sentence of pain brought on by himself and his own stupid, needy heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, god, why did I say that? I’m so sorry. If you wanna sneak out, I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then he felt a warmth press against his back as Wooseok crawled over behind him. Up on his knees, he wrapped his arms around him and kissed the side of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me take care of you,” he whispered. Seungyoun shivered and turned towards him. “Please take care of me too, Seungyounie. Please don’t pull away from me yet. I love you so much, I really do. I want this so much, but I can’t sit back and let you do everything as if I don’t want to be here. Please come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught his lips into a kiss, detached from the angle, but it was the sweetest so far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do this,” Seungyoun said quietly, his voice shaking. “You don’t have to say anything. I don’t want you to have to take it back later, I don’t think I could take it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come back to me, your room is so cold,” he pleaded, speaking to the part of him that was ready to give Wooseok the world. He tugged at him, and Seungyoun allowed himself to be moved and pushed onto his back and held by someone so small yet so strong to him in that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would it mean if I said I wanted to take care of you,” he said quietly against his mouth. “Not just like this…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun swallowed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In an instant, Wooseok kissed him again in a way that felt more like a promise. They tangled back up together without the urgency from before, but if he could dare say it, this was better. Moments ago had been a performance. He was sampling himself for him so that Wooseok could see if he wanted to buy the whole package or pass onto the next, but Wooseok hadn’t stayed with him to be given a presentation of what being loved felt like. He stayed because he already knew. He stayed because he loved him back without being asked to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And what had been an act of impulse became sweet and loving with soft kisses found beneath a soft blanket and soft touches that barely found the skin, delicate yet calculated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not long after, they both came crashing down in their own waves of soft cries that came out like quiet prayers to each other and to the universe itself to let them stay like that forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Seungyoun</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Wooseok said, his voice distant and shaken as he caught his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m right here,” Seungyoun said as he threaded his fingers through his hair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re right here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft trail of kisses peppered his jaw as he came down from his own high that had taken him away, and once he regained his composure, he craned his neck and kissed Wooseok on the top of his head before letting his own fall back down against the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room fell silent as they returned to their senses. Wooseok left his head on Seungyoun’s chest (where it belonged, in his opinion), fingers trailing along the shapes of his tattoos, and Seungyoun stared dumbly up at his ceiling while he processed what had happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had told Wooseok how he felt about him. He even alluded to the fact that he wanted to marry him one day which Wooseok luckily found amusing and not terrifying. He had kissed Wooseok as much as he wanted to, and made him… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he would give to make him feel like that every day…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seungyounie,” Wooseok pushed himself up and pouted. “I think I need to borrow your shower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! There’s a tub too if you like that more,” he said as they both sat up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think a shower is fine,” he laughed. “I just want to, um, clean myself up real quick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” he said. “It’s the room next to Seungwoo’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Wooseok said, climbing down, rigid and shy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some drawstring shorts that’ll fit you,” he said. “Towels are on a shelf in the bathroom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said before scurrying off. Seungyoun smacked his own forehead. The polite thing to do would have been to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>soil Wooseok’s clothes, but to be fair, his were just as bad, and he had to wait to go second so Wooseok could hardly complain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was alone in his room, he had a moment to think about what he had done. It was quiet with just the distant sound of the shower keeping the apartment alive. He looked at his tv screen at the shuffling artwork and sighed. What was he supposed to do? Apologize, of course, but then what? Was their friendship something he could salvage, or would he be saying goodbye to Wooseok too?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could answer his own question, a damp Wooseok stuck his head in the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shower’s free,” he said. “If you wanna…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thanks,” he jumped up. Wooseok stepped out of the way as he slid awkwardly past him without making eye contact</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m such a loser, I can’t even look at him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The bathroom was still filled with steam when he went inside. He pictured Wooseok scrubbing him off his skin like he was something to be ashamed of and felt tears sting his eyes, even though he knew that wasn’t why he had showered. He knew he was making things worse than they were, but how could Wooseok ever not find him disgusting after how he threw himself at him? It was only right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let the hot water purify him, and he quickly toweled off and redressed, eager to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away. Wooseok would have left while he was in the bathroom to go home to spare his dignity since it wasn’t raining anymore so at least he didn’t have to deal with a painful goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked into his room with a pitiful gait and clutched his chest in surprise once he realized he wasn’t alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I know it’s weird to come back to your room to wait, but the furniture…” Wooseok said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Right, of course,” he said. “It’s not weird. You’re welcome here anytime you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun stood awkwardly in the doorway, not sure what he should do or say. “Did you sleep okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I slept fine,” Wooseok laughed, reaching out. “Can you come back so I don’t feel like you’re allergic to me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He could say no to anything except for Wooseok, and it wasn’t fair. He walked back over to his bed and sat down next to him. Wooseok, who was sitting with his legs folded beneath him, pushed himself up and slung his legs over the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we need to talk,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for getting carried away,” Wooseok said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t, I did,” he corrected him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it was me,” he said with a huff. “It’s just after all these years… I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Seungyoun nodded. “I’m happy it happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you…,” Seungyoun’s voice trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to watch a movie with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What,” Wooseok laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you want,” he said. “You pick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he said with a giggle. “What about the Wizard of Oz?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds perfect,” he smiled, giving him a quick peck on the corner of his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And like someone snapped their fingers, they both moved quickly in opposite directions. Wooseok grabbed the pillows and the blanket (that had been spared any need for apologies), and Seungyoun went over to his laptop to restart the movie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok set them up to sit against the wall again, but when Seungyoun returned to the bed, he moved them to one of the sides towards the middle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lie down, please,” he said with a gesture. Wooseok raised an eyebrow, but he warily complied, choosing to trust him purely out of curiosity alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun slipped himself behind him and pulled the blanket over them both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he laughed. The opening music started again, but this time, instead of watching the screen, Seungyoun pushed himself up on his elbow and kissed along Wooseok’s ear who giggled happily. “What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Skipping the credits,” he said fondly, moving down to Wooseok’s soft cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned over on his back and pulled him down for a kiss, smiling in a way that melted away any worries Seungyoun had left. No one smiled at someone like that when they wanted to push them away from them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing,” Seungyoun raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The movie doesn’t get good until Dorothy lands in Oz,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a point,” he said as he stroked his cheek. “We should just skip that part.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we always skip the parts we don’t like like this,” Wooseok asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he said before he kissed him on the tip of his nose. “And what about like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” he said as he kissed him back on the curve of his chin. “Perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun leaned down and pressed their lips together again slowly, letting the rise and fall of Wooseok’s chest determine their pace. It was like he was savoring him, and it was even more intoxicating than before, if that was possible. He barely even noticed Dorothy sing </span>
  <em>
    <span>Somewhere Over the Rainbow </span>
  </em>
  <span>again or the Wicked Witch’s melody signal them to come back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seungyoun, are you happy,” he asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” his heart jumped. “I’ve never been happier. Is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, but I was wondering if this was a moment you would want to save.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “I don’t think I could forget it even if I wanted to, but I can’t put you on my shelf either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok laughed. “No, you can’t do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But can I kiss you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, what else are we doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, when we go out, can I kiss you,” Seungyoun asked. “Like around other people, but not in a creepy way. But like maybe on the cheek whenever you look pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok nodded without hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And can I hold your hand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Wooseok said, reaching up to touch his neck only for contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you how pretty you are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok smiled shyly and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything I can’t say to you,” Seungyoun asked because now that he had finally told Wooseok that he was in love with him, he doubted he could keep it inside anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok shook his head. “You can do or say anything you want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun smiled to himself and hung his head down, overwhelmed. He glanced at the screen and saw with a pity that the tornado had swept the house away. “Any last words before it gets to the good part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok pushed himself up and pressed his lips against his for one last time (until the movie was over, of course). “I’m happy that I get to be the person who gets to take care of you. However you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungyoun froze, stunned, but Wooseok only smiled at him, content with himself. He laid back down on the bed and turned himself over to watch the movie. Seungyoun was speechless. Not only was the movie now in technicolor, his whole world was too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooseok reached back behind himself and pawed at him, and Seungyoun took that as a sign to join him. He laid down behind him and pulled the blanket back over them both. Wooseok took his hand and pulled it up to his mouth for a kiss before holding it against his chest. Their bodies fit together perfectly, and he thought that he would watch the same movie a dozen times if he never had to move again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slid his arm under Wooseok’s head and held him in his arms like he was his because he was, wasn’t he? He was the person that Seungyoun wanted to take care of him, and at the same time, Wooseok wanted to without being asked to. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He </span>
  </em>
  <span>had held him when he fell asleep, stroked his cheek to make sure he wasn’t having bad dreams, had stopped everything when he saw that things weren’t balanced because Seungyoun was afraid. He had stayed over when he saw that Seungyoun was lonely. What kind of weird superstition said that a new house had to have real plates… Wooseok had been taking care of him this whole time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After coming to this conclusion, Seungyoun decided to enjoy the movie with him without any more doubts or worries, and this time he was sure he could stay awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or at least wake up on his own to the burnt smell of Wooseok’s terrible cooking.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it ❤️</p></blockquote></div></div>
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